KEW Hockey Club

There is an episode of the Simpsons in which Springfield is attacked by a school of angry dolphins. It finishes with Homer and others out at sea, clinging to driftwood while the triumphant dolphins enjoy the spoils of victory on dry land. Homer is heard to say “You gotta hand it to those dolphins – they just wanted it more than we did”. In essence, “wanting it more” sums up what it takes to win finals.

After their stirring semi-final win, the Sopranos made the long trek down Warragul Rd to Moorabbin to play the club that now calls itself the People’s Republic of Greater Southern Unity (or something along those lines). They had towelled us up 3-0 in the regular season, finished minor premiers and had the home ground advantage. Enough said – it was going to be hard.

There is a temptation in finals for coaches to try a new structure or line-up for the first time only to confuse the hell out of everybody. Lucky for us, Coach Lachie had decided upon a simple structure, familiar to us all and calmly plotted the various rotations off the bench with Manager Max. Charlie Mac then grabbed a whiteboard and outlined the strategy he predicted would bring us victory. It is hard to know what was more surprising, the fact that we stopped to listen or the fact that we actually employed it. Either way, the McNamara Plan was instrumental to our ultimate success. By depriving the Peoples’ Republic’s fullbacks time and space when taking 16s, we forced enough turnovers to result in early goal chances and PCs and ultimately managed to control the tempo of the game.

As our season had progressed much interest has developed around whether Pat Nicholls would ever hit a goal. Asked before the game when he proposed to produce the goods, Pat replied “when it’s appropriate”. In any event, about 10 minutes in, he deemed it appropriate to slot a beauty and what followed resembled a Benny Hill Show skit as Pat was chased en masse back to the centre line by his delighted team mates. The Peoples’ Republic equalized a few minutes later but the Kew Boys didn’t flinch. CB, Hillsy, Seeka and Lachie were controlling the midfield and Barney and Jim made the right hand side their own. Cuz and “Chief” Hartung were tackling brilliantly down back and repeatedly gave us first use of the ball.

Clance’s deft ankle-tap on their prime playmaker right in front of the home crowd served to send them all troppo and while it earned Clance a Green, it had the desired effect because the focus of the Peoples’ Republic became anything other than where the ball was going. Manager Max seized the moment to get Clance off before he graduated to cheese and by swinging Stevie Wonder, Drew and Yabba Dabba into the fray, ensured that the Kew Boys had the fresh legs needed to maintain the intensity.

The Chief then slammed home a PC Shot that almost shattered the top of the backboard and we went into the break 2-1 up. Apart from the suggestion that we stand in the shade, nothing of great consequence was said at half-time. Anyway, we already knew that if we scored more goals than them, we’d probably win.

After an expected early surge, the Peoples’ Republic paid the price for letting Charlie Mac get some space in the circle and his resulting goal advanced us to 3-1 lead (the most dangerous lead in a final). Rather then let us dwell on this development, Pat deemed it appropriate to steal the ball on the attacking 25, glide into the circle and put a searing shot past the keeper. Although the Peoples’ Republic snagged one back, the Kew Boys held firm. Fitzy was again magnificent in goals, so much so that we will almost forgive him for stinking out the change rooms before the game with the odour that was rising off his padding. The final 10 minutes seemed to last an eternity but we managed to send enough balls over the side and back lines to break their rhythm and ended up prevailing 4-2.

Having been in the top 2 for 13 of the 18 regular season rounds, anything other than a Grand Final finish would have been a disappointment for us. That said, we will approach our shot at the Flag next week comfortable in the knowledge that we have earned the right to be there. As for the Peoples’ Republic, minor premiers but out in straight sets – you’d have to be shattered. To those of you who travelled to support us, our heartfelt thanks. You vocal encouragement truly lifted us in those last 10 minutes when we were spent. Hope to see you all next week!